In which the author tells you how to run your life -- or at least how to make the most of the fun parts of it.

For instance, inside these pages you will learn how to weather a mortar attack in good spirits; how to avoid booking yourself on the Internet into a bed and breakfast full of twee quilts and dusty tchotkes; and how to plan a dinner party that will stun your guests with deliciousness and style and not destroy your will to live with the amount of work you have to do to pull it off.

These are things I know firsthand, and things people who know me often ask me about (though I usually just book them into bed and breakfasts myself -- identifying ruffled death traps is an acquired skill). I am almost always right about everything (food, style and travel-related, anyway, and often many other things) and if everyone would just do as I say, dinner would taste better, cupcakes would not be dry, your parties would be more fun (for you), and mortar attacks... well, they always suck. I can't do anything about them.

*except laundry. I can't manage my own laundry, much less yours.

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Wednesday, October 27, 2010

How to.. Oh, hell. The Most Wonderful Set of Wings Not on a Bird, Ever.

It's made of old workgloves and belts. When I see things like this I realize, oh right, I'm not an artist. It's humbling and thrilling to know that people like this are out there. Need these. Imagine over a bed..or just strappin on the belt and wearing them and being all like, "lu lu lu" if anyone looks at you strange.

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