In which the author tells you how to run your life -- or at least how to make the most of the fun parts of it.

For instance, inside these pages you will learn how to weather a mortar attack in good spirits; how to avoid booking yourself on the Internet into a bed and breakfast full of twee quilts and dusty tchotkes; and how to plan a dinner party that will stun your guests with deliciousness and style and not destroy your will to live with the amount of work you have to do to pull it off.

These are things I know firsthand, and things people who know me often ask me about (though I usually just book them into bed and breakfasts myself -- identifying ruffled death traps is an acquired skill). I am almost always right about everything (food, style and travel-related, anyway, and often many other things) and if everyone would just do as I say, dinner would taste better, cupcakes would not be dry, your parties would be more fun (for you), and mortar attacks... well, they always suck. I can't do anything about them.



*except laundry. I can't manage my own laundry, much less yours.





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Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Brendas, Show me some LOVE!


breaking update: HGTV design star has yet to get in touch about casting me for the show! I am peeved and verging on petulant, as you can clearly see above. I hide my pain behind a giant parka and an enigmatic smile. It's easier to bear if I surround myself with friends.

These are my Brendas, minus one or two or six. "Brenda" began 20 years ago as an insult -- you'd say "OK, Brenda" if someone was being difficult. It was synonymous with "settle down bitch. it's all good." It gradually morphed into being a term of endearment, and it can get very confusing for listeners when we are talking amongst ourselves. "So then Brenda opened up the Cakebread and Brenda was like, that is so good how much does it cost? and Brenda said, oh, I've got it. Don't worry." It is a highly contextual term meriting linguistic study.

***

I once did tequila and 7-Up shots with Shannon Doherty, the original Brenda. She was nicer than I expected.

***

over at Apartment Therapy they are accepting nominations for an award for the 5 best design blogs called the "Homies." Because my 6 readers are extremely loyal and know these things are TOTALLY rigged ;) ... they are instructed to copy the following on their clipboard:

Name: How To Run Your Life*

URL: howtorunyourlife.blogspot.com

and head on over to the following link. You may have to register to be a commenter. The entry requirements are very lax; you'll make it. Let the adulation commence!

http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/ny/the-homies-best-home-design-blog-of-2011-submit-your-nominations-137078


while you are there you should also nominate better after, little green notebook, pure.style.home ...Young house love is once again mopping up the competition. They are gorgeous, in love, with a new baby and they have impeccable taste plus deals from Lowe or whatever. Sigh.

Anyway, maybe if you vote for me those Design Star casting agents will GET OFF THEIR BUTTS and call already.

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