How To Run Your Life*: How Not To Make Donuts for 14

In which the author tells you how to run your life -- or at least how to make the most of the fun parts of it.

For instance, inside these pages you will learn how to weather a mortar attack in good spirits; how to avoid booking yourself on the Internet into a bed and breakfast full of twee quilts and dusty tchotkes; and how to plan a dinner party that will stun your guests with deliciousness and style and not destroy your will to live with the amount of work you have to do to pull it off.

These are things I know firsthand, and things people who know me often ask me about (though I usually just book them into bed and breakfasts myself -- identifying ruffled death traps is an acquired skill). I am almost always right about everything (food, style and travel-related, anyway, and often many other things) and if everyone would just do as I say, dinner would taste better, cupcakes would not be dry, your parties would be more fun (for you), and mortar attacks... well, they always suck. I can't do anything about them.

*except laundry. I can't manage my own laundry, much less yours.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

How Not To Make Donuts for 14

it all turned out well in the end, but only due to my caution and cleverness and tendency to overdo things. i shall start out at the beginning.

18-year-old daughter of my handsome boyfriend asked if she could bring her friends to my house for brunch (14 of them) and then for a walk to Eastern Market. I agreed because I recently became intrigued with the notion of making donuts.

I made yeast donuts and buttermilk, and thank god I did because the yeast donuts were a MESS. I've been up cooking since 7 am ON A SUNDAY so I'm too tired to lay it all out for you. But don't cover your yeast donuts with a tea towel while they rise, or you will have problems of sticking.

And then god help me if you are trying to regulate your hot fat on a gas burner. Not easy.

But the end result was pretty nice.