In which the author tells you how to run your life -- or at least how to make the most of the fun parts of it.

For instance, inside these pages you will learn how to weather a mortar attack in good spirits; how to avoid booking yourself on the Internet into a bed and breakfast full of twee quilts and dusty tchotkes; and how to plan a dinner party that will stun your guests with deliciousness and style and not destroy your will to live with the amount of work you have to do to pull it off.

These are things I know firsthand, and things people who know me often ask me about (though I usually just book them into bed and breakfasts myself -- identifying ruffled death traps is an acquired skill). I am almost always right about everything (food, style and travel-related, anyway, and often many other things) and if everyone would just do as I say, dinner would taste better, cupcakes would not be dry, your parties would be more fun (for you), and mortar attacks... well, they always suck. I can't do anything about them.

*except laundry. I can't manage my own laundry, much less yours.

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Thursday, November 3, 2011

How to make your house smell like green heaven:

You know what the best smell in the world is? No, not Pumpkin Spice Latte or whatever it is you people drink.

It's the smell of the green leaves on a tomato plant. It's so clean and fresh, the very essence of what green should smell like. I think its the smell of chlorophyl. It's just... perfect. Wonderful. Smells nothing like a tomato itself... And its only something you can enjoy if you bother to grow tomatoes yourself.

Remarkably, Jonathan Adler understands this, and has somehow captured the scent in his (ahem) $38 candle. Worth every penny. Now if I only had the pennies.

I am normally a sucker for all things grapefruit -- but this. Heavy sigh. I'd roll in it if I could.

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