Some (I think well deserved) kudos, plus how to salt your food

This man is salting TOO CLOSE

To salt: Do it from up high. That means grab a pinch of salt (I like coarse sea salt -- its easier to control and adds a nice crunch), hold it a foot above the food (cooked or raw) that you want to salt then sprinkle it, moving your arm back and forth. This almost always prevents over salting (compared to shaking, or holding your hand closer to the food, which limits dispersal) and looks super cheffy. And it works.

Now, Lifers, for the love:

As you know, I'm the new editor of a gorgeous wonderful food magazine that every one of you should be subscribing to, clearly, because look what a very intelligent food blogger said about us:

"I actually ended up feeling better about the world, more hopeful, after reading this magazine."

OK, OK, here's the whole post. (PS I wrote the "captivating" article she references. I had to watch a cow die to do it, too.)

"On the upside, I did find one gem in all the pulp. Based in Sperryville, VA, Flavor magazine covers sustainable food production in the D.C./Virginia area. This publication is good for anyone in the D.C. area interested in gardening, CSAs, or day or weekend food trips to Virginia. Did you know there is a group that will come put a honeybee hive on your roof? Or come help you put a garden in your yard? Or bring you a CSA-style box of meat and eggs and dairy? The March/April issue also looks at things to do, places to eat and sleep in Fredericksburg, VA. I was captivated by an article on the process of executing animals in a humane way on a small farm. There were profiles of chefs working in a sustainable way with local ingredients–Jeff Black of BlackSalt; Ian Boden of Staunton Grocery–that weren’t heavy-handed and smug. I actually ended up feeling better about the world, more hopeful, after reading this magazine. And I’m resolving to go pick some produce this year on a farm in Orange, VA, just an hour south of D.C. I loved the scolding rant from a rancher, who explains in detail just how animals are not like people. Fun facts about cows and chickens galore! Chicks don’t need to eat or drink for their first three days, because they have to wait for all the chicks to hatch. They don’t feel that need until they get their first taste–like flipping a switch. I really wish I could link to this piece, but the website is very limited. You might just have to subscribe. ($24.90 plus shipping for 6 issues)

http://www.supertastes.com/blog/2011/03/19/magazine-buzz/

isn't that nice? go to Emily's site and read. Grrl takes no prisoners when she disjoints the Washington Post food section.

And indeed Flavor's website is very limited, but I have a good friend at Three Spot who is going to help us out.

How To Walk Around In High Heels All Day

This is my worst quality. I am the anti-high heel girl. This is not because I am 5' 10" -- I like being tall and i have been known to totter about on 4 inch heels for short periods -- but because of 9/11. Let me explain.

On the morning of 9/11 I was temporarily waylaid (read: I was in therapy because of a recent break up) on my way to work at the Pentagon. Then, as you have probably heard, terrorists slammed a plane into the building. They had already done so in New York and many innocent people died (as did some very, very bad men). The result: Two wars, more than 5,000 American deaths, tens of thousands of Americans injured and god knows how many tens or hundreds of thousands of non-Americans killed dead.

But this is about my feet.

On that day I was wearing flats actually -- cute navy and white spectator loafers. Nevertheless, by the time I have walked across Northern Virginia to get to the Pentagon -- where I was almost knocked to my knees at my first sight of the pancaked building -- and stood around in the Citgo lot waiting for info, trading the pay phone with other reporters because our cell phones didn't work, then walking all the way around the building (the largest office building in the world) several times trying to get in for the briefing, then all the way through the building to see the damage (what I was allowed to see -- the hallways leading to the impact site were dark, guarded by armed men, and sloshing with water from the newly installed fire sprinklers) walking around again at 11 that night after I was finished filing, trying to find a cab or a metro station that was open, and then riding home on the train and being quite literally the only person in any car, in any station we passed, I had 19 separate blisters (feet sweating and swelling and unswelling and sweating and getting dirty again...) and limped home. I threw out those shoes and thought: Thank Baby jesus I wasn't wearing high heels.

So pretty much I try not to, and if I do, I always try to have a pair of comfortable flats around. You never know when terrorists will blow something up or your car will get a flat tire. Best to be prepared. You should also always have bandaids on you, which I usually don't and always regret.

But this post is about how to walk around in high heels when flats are not an option. While I was hanging around The Source the other day (Wolfgang Puck's DC restaurant) waiting for a photo shoot we were doing for Flavor to wrap up, I asked the gorgeous blonde GM how she managed. Girlfriend was tottering up and down staircases and stands around all the live long day. The secret, she said, is different heel heights. She only wears black shoes and has several pairs of different height heels. When one starts to hurt, she switches, the pressure points change, and no one is the wiser -- but she's always wearing heels.

You're welcome.

How To Steal My Heart with Furniture

How brilliant is this? Not mine but I am going to steal this, stat, on the next dresser I find.
The link is here. Check it out -- lots of awesome stuff that is (I hesitate to say because she might take it as an insult) fabulous half-assed crafting (as in: takes not much time and money, looks infinitely better than when it started, and is fun to do.)

I love a bare tree branch motif, and this combines that with the McMakin trick I adore -- painting furniture but leaving some of it unpainted so you can see the wood grain.

How Not To Make Donuts for 14

it all turned out well in the end, but only due to my caution and cleverness and tendency to overdo things. i shall start out at the beginning.


18-year-old daughter of my handsome boyfriend asked if she could bring her friends to my house for brunch (14 of them) and then for a walk to Eastern Market. I agreed because I recently became intrigued with the notion of making donuts.

I made yeast donuts and buttermilk, and thank god I did because the yeast donuts were a MESS. I've been up cooking since 7 am ON A SUNDAY so I'm too tired to lay it all out for you. But don't cover your yeast donuts with a tea towel while they rise, or you will have problems of sticking.

And then god help me if you are trying to regulate your hot fat on a gas burner. Not easy.

But the end result was pretty nice.

The Official Underpants of How To Run Your Life*

Bali Barely There Boy Shorts. No visible panty line, no wedgies. (I try and try and can't wear thongs. They HURT me. I think it's my hip-to-waist ratio, which is generous). Stock up, report back.

http://www.amazon.com/Barely-There-Flawless-Microfiber-Boyshorts/dp/B000H68NMO

Your tax dollars at work! (Edited for spelling and punctuation. My blog is like the cobbler's children)

Or not as it were. When I worked on Capitol Hill, I had nothing but time to write my blog. Now that I am employed in the private sector -- for which I took a 70 percent pay cut, but because of which I am 900 percent happier -- I'm actually slammed all day...but with good wonderful things, like food and wine and farmers.

(I make $10,000 more than Abraham Lincoln's secretary of war, NOT adjusted for inflation. best move I ever made, by the way. But if enough of you subscribe and you really really should I could get a raise! http://www.flavormags.com/)

Anyway, "working" cuts into the blogging, and for that I apologize.

That said, I have begun my side career as bad ass reupholsterer -- you may recall my New Life Resolution to that effect.

I have a terrible sickly pink velvet wing back chair ("flesh toned" in Crayola's early racist parlance) that I am recovering with striped remnant fabric ($4.97 a yard, 10 yards) and my staple gun. It is half-assed crafting at its very best. It actually looks pretty good so far. Staples will be covered in black seam tape and much hot glue. If you come over don't pick at the chair, please.

Before:

It's that monstrosity between the windows. It's extremely comfy though, and has a nice presence at the dinner table.

By the way, I'm selling those battered leather club chairs. They are the real article -- just don't fit into my house anymore. Cough up $1,500 for the pair and we'll talk (new, horrible replicas from Pottery Barn cost $1,500 - 2,00 a piece, and Restoration Hardware has sold out and discontinued it's line, which looked very similar.)

Mine are SUPER battered, so you must love the lived in look.

During:

I'm calling this the Brother Where Are Thou Chair, because of the prison stripes See?

I'll post After when it's done!

Industrial Table How-To: The Premiere of the Half-Assed Craft!

hopefully this mess will all make sense to you in the end.

I got this note from an Apartment Therapy reader, and I am providing my answer here for everyone. It's an AWESOME half-assed craft, and takes not terribly long if you attack it with optimism and good humor.

"I'm not sure how to e-mail you my question so hopefully you won't mind a random, unrelated-to-post- comment. I found your blog via a post on an industrial table on Apartment Therapy (http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/chicago/dining-room/diy-industrial-pipe-table-base-frugal-farmhouse-129374) and you mentioned you had created, what seemed to be, a smaller industrial table. I was all set to build the table as shown on the post but with smaller dimensions. I would love to see pictures of the table you made as it sounds just as easy but petite enough for my apartment. Would you have any pictures/diagrams you could forward to me?"

Sorry, I don't have pictures -- but I've diagrammed it above. It is going to sound a lot more complicated than it is. This table is WAY easier than cutting and screwing together a bunch of random lengths of pipe.

You need:

(4) 4x4 inch cedar posts (cedar is better for you and the environment than pressure-treated wood, and they are readily available.) Cut to 29 inches tall. I found mail box posts that did the trick.

(12) 3-4 inch inch metal pipe flanges -- they are flat discs with threading that allow a pipe to get screwed in, and they affix to a surface with screws. Go to the plumbing section and ask.

(4) lengths of rigid electrical pipe of the same diameter as the flanges so you can screw in the pipes. The length of pipe will determine the dimensions of the table, so choose wisely. You'll need 2 of one length and two of another (or four equal lengths for a square table). Choose already-cut and threaded pipes that have threading on both ends. You should be able to find various lengths from 24" up to 6 to 8 feet.

To repeat: 2 in length X pipes for the ends, and 2 in length Y for the sides. (X and Y can be the same, or not, as you wish -- depends on if you want a rectangular or square table.)

I used two 24-inch pipes and two 6-foot pipes to make the table base for a 3 X 8 foot table.

Now: get 2 more pipes in length X. These will be used to anchor the table legs.

Also: get 4 short pieces of pipe, about 2-4 inches. Make sure they are threaded on both ends. They should be the same diameter as the other pipes.

And get (4) 90-degree elbow pipe fittings of the same diameter as the pipes.

Do yourself a favor and screw these things together in the store to make sure they all fit. Will save you from committing suicide later when you discover one of your fittings is too small or large.

You're going to need wood or a different material top too. More on that later.

And lotsa screws and a good drill with screw bit attachment.

---
Step 1: take your four top pipes (2X and 2Y) and twist on the flanges on either end of each of the pipes. Don't get clever and decide to screw your flanges to the wood before affixing the flanges to the pipes. Trust me on this one.

That should leave you with: four flanges, 4 elbow joints , and six other pieces of pipe (4 that are 2-4 inches long, and two X lengths. Make sense?) Set those aside for now.

Step 2. lay one of the cedar legs flat on the floor. Place a Y-length pipe and flange on a long flat side as close to what will be the top of the table leg as possible. Screw in the flange.

Step 3: Stand up the leg, and place the opposite end of the pipe and flange against another standing cedar leg. Screw in the flange in a mirror image of the first, close to the top. Make sure the flanges are level with each other or your pipes won't fit and you're table will be wonky. When you are done you should have a contraption made up of 2 standing cedar legs with a long pipe horizontally separating them. We'll call that Side A.

Step 4. Get a third cedar leg, and screw in another (X length) pipe and flange the same way you did the first one. So you'll have one cedar leg with one pipe hanging off it at a right angle near the top. Call that "end A." Now attach the flange on the end of that pipe -- the one hanging off your lone leg out there -- to the Side A. It will be attached to the inside of Side A -- a quarter of a turn from where the other flange is, so you will have the two pipes going off at right angles to each other, anchored by three pipes. This will all make sense as you go, I promise.

Step 5: repeat with the other cedar leg, attaching it to other cedar post at the opposite end of Side A.

Now you'll have a U shaped contraption that should stand up. Take your final Y pipe with flanges, and screw it in on both ends to the inside of the cedar legs of End A and End B and close the U. It will look something like this, but with wood posts in the four corners, and flange and pipe. This is offered here so you understand what the shape should be .... roughly.

You're almost done! this should really take you less than 30 minutes if you are handy with a screw driver. It should look like a table base now.

Step 6 is for added support: twist elbow joints on to one end of each of the shortest pipes you have. This will make them turn 90 degrees. Now twist in your remaining X pipes so each end of X now has an elbow joint and a little stubby pipe on it. You should have a flat U. Twist flanges on each end of the U, and attach flanges to the inside side of End A, as close to the bottom as possible. Do the same with your remaining pipes and End B.

Step 7. Take a break!

Step 8: You now have a table top yay and you can make a few fun decisions. What will you cover it with? Easiest is 3/4 inch plywood or medium density fiber board cut to extend over the table base by at least 4 inches on each side. So measure from the outside edge of each cedar leg to the outside leg opposite. Add 4 inches all around. That's what size your top should be.

Go get the top, drill pilot holes in each corner where the top will attach to the cedar leg below (place the wood on top and drill right through. This is called a dry fit, sort of. Then use a proper sized screw to attach. Don;t glue things. You'll never be able to get it apart). You can paint or not, of better yet cover the top with zinc sheeting before attaching to the legs. Check out rotometals.com for supplies and directions. How cool would THAT be? zinc top, cedar legs, metal pipes.

Or leave the top plywood-- spend a little extra to get furniture-grade plywood -- and seal it, or paint it like RoyMcMakin might have leaving some unpainted and some exposed. Observe the genius.

And while we're on McMakin, let's pause for another AWESOME idea. How easy would this be to totally jack? A couple of flea market chairs, a can of paint and a large canvas? Steal it, I command you.

But back to the table... alternatively, you can make a wood top from lumber cut to your specifications. and attached together on the underside with 3 cross pieces (you need 3 to keep the top from racking, or going all diagonal on you). It's pretty simple to do and will look like a picnic table (I'm presuming you're not skilled in joinery, which is why you are reading these convoluted directions). Flip over, finish as you wish, then attach to the base. Make sure your cross pieces aren't too deep or wide that they interfere with the pipes or legs.

You can make benches this way too, just make the legs shorter and the base only 12 inches wide on end.
The end.